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| Tender Greens tuna salad Niçoise with spring lettuce, olives, capers, tomatoes, fingerling potatoes, quail eggs and seared tuna steak with a sherry vinaigrette |
I was promised suffering. I was promised pain. What I've had is one bad day when I skipped coffee with breakfast. (Though, make no mistake: that was a bad day.) I'm probably cheating at this whole first-week-of-the-cleanse thing by being home during the day, and free to nap at will, so the forecasted fatigue isn't really an issue. But I'm not just supposed to feel tired; I'm supposed to feel like death warmed over and served on a bed of burnt rice. I'm supposed to be suffering. I'm supposed to be in pain. And really ... I'm not.
Where is my pain, y'all?
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| Scrambled eggs with bacon, sauteed onions, cherry tomatoes and basil |
Of course, everything's a lot easier because Margaret (you remember, the clean eating enthusiast/friend who talked me into this thing in the first place) decided to do the cleanse with me. Always easier with a buddy, especially one who lives and eats with you. Otherwise, who would be there to tell you you're not supposed to be having that second cup of bulletproof coffee because it's too calorie-dense?
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| Kenyan-style spiced ground beef and collards with cherry tomatoes |
I kid, of course--Margaret has been an invaluable source of information and support. Love you, hon! (Know you read this!)
Plus, it turns out I live in basically the ideal part of the world to do this kind of thing. That salad up top? I got it at one of my favorite restaurants, Tender Greens. I asked them to hold the toast and the cashier brightly said, "Gluten-free?" and pushed the gluten-free button. Because she had a gluten-free button. Then they happily recited every ingredient in the vinaigrette, and when I explained, with an apologetic grimace, that I couldn't have sugar, fully prepared to make do with oil and vinegar, they quickly informed me that the sherry vinaigrette was very similar and had no sugar. Because that's information they knew off the top of their heads. So I'm still self-banned from Fatburger and the little Chinese restaurant I just discovered (guys, they were speaking Mandarin! Every visit is an opportunity to practice!), but I've still got the Whole Foods buffet and Tender Greens and Lyfe Cafe and just the general expectation among servers at just about any joint that I go to that very particular dietary requirements and minute inquiries into ingredients are normal. Which is nice, vis-a-vis the attitude you get from the waitstaff and the odds of ending up with ingredients, shall we say, not on the menu in your dish. So if LA is the kind of place where one gets slightly peer pressured into going on a cleanse, it's also the kind of place that makes, er, cleansing easy.
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| Bulletproof coffee with coconut butter and cinnamon, and Margaret's signature Swamp Water Smoothie (not its actual name) with coconut milk, strawberries, mangoes, kale, flax seed and hemp powder. Mmm, hemp powder. |
Plus there are like five farmers markets within three miles of me. And I'm still allowed to eat whole, uncooked fruit! In moderation! Woo!
I don't know, guys, maybe I'm totally tempting fate here, but so far, so good. Do I miss baked goods, and cheese and (come on) Dr Pepper? Sure. But do I feel any different, physically? Yeah, not so much. Which is nice, but also worrisome, since, y'know, feeling different is the entire point.
More as it develops.
--SA
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